ROOM 101

For those readers who know about Room 101 please excuse the explanation for those who do not. Inspired by Orwell's novel 1984, BBC TV decided some years ago to invite celebrities to nominate items for a room where their most loathed things would be put, unlike Orwell's room however, the BBC version gave the option to dispose of the items. In Orwell's creation, the items were used to torture the victim who was locked in Room 101 with them. (I hope I have got these facts right or that well know literary expert and self appointed blog critic, Nick 'I studied literature at Uni' Iddon , will be back on the acerbic warpath.)

Now as you know I could fill Room 101 to bursting point, as the sheer volume of things that annoy me are almost infinite. One such reared it's ugly head yesterday, and that is Design Faults. I always imagine that in offices scattered around the world there are designers, being paid good money, coming up with new and cunning designs which can be foisted upon the unsuspecting consumer. Fair enough, but when these designs are patently (excuse the pun here) CRAP then I get pissed off. Take the one that got me yesterday for example - the Zip Concealment Flap. You know what I mean, that bit of material that conceals the Ugly Zip on clothing (usually) and of course gets caught in the zip and jams it. Many the time during my years as a teacher, has a poor child come to me with the zip stuck on their coat, usually near the top, leaving them no room to pull the coat over their poor head. Many a zip have I broken during these episodes with an apologetic and embarrassing note home to the parents.

So yesterday, as in the picture above, at 1,800 meters atop a snowy mountain, with sub zero temperatures pounding at the snow glove wearing victim (me) the zip on the pocket housing my mobile phone suffered this fate. Try as I may I could not budge it and of course the gap was too small to extricate the phone. And yes of course, there was an important message waiting on it. If only the message had been from a hit man who had found the designer of the Zip Concealment Flap. What he needs doing to him by millions worldwide does not bear thinking about. Bastard!