AIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW

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Sitting on the runway was an Air Asia Airbus. We could not believe it was really there. Were we dreaming? Would we wake up in our hotel room with BBC World News telling us that the volcano was erupting anew? Would we, at the last moment be turned away from the steps that were our personal Stairway To Heaven, to find ourselves back on the airport bus, on the journey to KL, which by now I could do in my sleep? As we got nearer the steps, the reality got nearer too. We were going home!

Soon we were in a long queue of fellow passengers (mostly, unfortunately, Brits) standing in the sweltering heat at the bottom of the magic stairway. For some reason a last test of our resolve was needed. There was some kind of delay at the top. Hard to keep a smile on your face at this stage. Trish managed it....I didn't. No change there then!

Slowly but surely, the last few passengers boarded the plane and the doors closed. There we sat in the stifling heat, why wasn't the air con on, some late and disasterous malfunction? Time passed, as slowly as the second hands on the counterfeit watches for sale on the streets of Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. The captain came on, trying to raise spirits. An expectant audience waited for the engines to start. Suddenly, there was a jolt and the plane started to move....backwards, away from it's parking bay. Spontaneous applause broke out in the cabin. Collectively held breaths were exhaled, the air conditioning kicked in, we rolled out onto the runway. Stand by......Engage. The big bird trundled down the runway, fully laden, aching for airspeed. In my seat I willed it into the air, almost straining against my seat belt. After what seemed an age I felt the nose come up and like Tom Cundell (Winged Victory) in his Sopwith Camel, I felt the elation of flight. We were on our way home.

ESCAPE IS FUTILE

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We should have known better but we were given good news this morning, and that was that we were on a flight due to leave for home at 14.00. We checked out of our hotel and made the one and a half hour journey to the airport. When we got there after another hour's wait, we were told that the flight was cancelled after all. Fantastic. My main worry was that we had left our lovely, cheap hotel and when we returned we would be unable to get a room. An anxious trip back to the hotel followed. Luckily our room had not been taken and very soon we were back in familiar surroundings.
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Soon Ali was doing his best to get us out of Malaysia and back to Europe. It seems we will be leaving on Saturday for Malta via Kuwait and Cairo. If Air Asia get our flight in the air before that we will be on that one. Either way, we intend to be westward bound.
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In a pretty dismal day, two rays of light. Firstly, we found a superb local buffet style cafe round the corner from our hotel, where we had a tasty evening meal for £2 a head. Secondly, two brothers got onto the monorail as we were on our way to the airport. I had to do a double take. Trish managed to take a very short dicreet video. Why? I'll let you make your own mind up.
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BEAM ME UP....I'VE HAD ENOUGH

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The two shadow figures you see in the photo above are our 'friends' Ali and Annabel on their way to freedom on Saturday night. Ali had devised a way for them to return home and off they went into the Kuala Lumpur sunset, well that's if you can see the sun in this God forsaken city. Those of you who know me well will understand when I tell you that this capital city rates very low in my visited list of capital cities, none of which I like anyway.
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Firstly it's hot. When we walk out from the air conditioned sanctuary of our hotel, it's as if someone is holding a hair dryer on full bore in front of your face. And then there is the traffic. Lots of traffic. Little regard is paid here to the pedestrian. There is almost no chance of crossing roads with any degree of safety. Squadrons of mopeds gather at the head of cars at traffic lights, where the lanes of cars are six wide. As soon as the lights go green they roar off in a stinking mob, leaving behind a hot smog that refuses rise in the heavy atmosphere.
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If the roads are too clogged with the heaving mass of cars, the mopeds and small motorbikes take to using the pavement and heaven help anybody who attempts to use it for walking on at the same time. Above all of this the monorail glides silently along, impervious to the chaos below, in air conditioned splendour, supported by it's immense concrete pillars. A trip anywhere along it's length costs 1.60 ringit, about 25p. It's great value and affords a splendid view of the city and the gridlocked streets.
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Today Trish and I eschewed the comfort of the monorail and decided to walk into the city. We wanted to get to the marvellous 'Twin Towers' which dominate the skyline. We followed the road, past various watch sellers who all, to a man, leapt out on us saying 'you want watch sir, I have lovely watch, and you lady' pointing to a bedazzling array of timepieces laid out on their stalls. All guaranteed to last less hours than on their designer dials. We finally made it and was disappointed to find the viewing facility closed on Mondays. Underneath the towers was a sickeningly up market designer shopping mall with western prices. Marvellous air conditioning though!
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So here we sit, waiting for the opportunity to clear off home, wondering why, in this pre election month, Gordon Brown does not organise a vote-winning Dunkirk-like evacuation of the 150,000 or so souls stranded, like the B.E.F. on foreign soil, trying to survive extended and unexpected exposure to a culture that they only wanted to holiday in, not become part of.
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We are fine really. We have a comfy hotel, cheap, free wifi, air con in the room and an excellent buffet breakfast. The news regularly shows less fortunate travellers lying on airport floors, or suffering house arrest because they do not have a visa to visit some under - developed hell hole that they have suddenly been deposited into, a place they would never in their wildest dreams have visited. We are not on holiday anymore, that's for sure. We exist in a kind of limbo. It's life Jim, but not as we know it.