BEAM ME UP....I'VE HAD ENOUGH

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The two shadow figures you see in the photo above are our 'friends' Ali and Annabel on their way to freedom on Saturday night. Ali had devised a way for them to return home and off they went into the Kuala Lumpur sunset, well that's if you can see the sun in this God forsaken city. Those of you who know me well will understand when I tell you that this capital city rates very low in my visited list of capital cities, none of which I like anyway.
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Firstly it's hot. When we walk out from the air conditioned sanctuary of our hotel, it's as if someone is holding a hair dryer on full bore in front of your face. And then there is the traffic. Lots of traffic. Little regard is paid here to the pedestrian. There is almost no chance of crossing roads with any degree of safety. Squadrons of mopeds gather at the head of cars at traffic lights, where the lanes of cars are six wide. As soon as the lights go green they roar off in a stinking mob, leaving behind a hot smog that refuses rise in the heavy atmosphere.
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If the roads are too clogged with the heaving mass of cars, the mopeds and small motorbikes take to using the pavement and heaven help anybody who attempts to use it for walking on at the same time. Above all of this the monorail glides silently along, impervious to the chaos below, in air conditioned splendour, supported by it's immense concrete pillars. A trip anywhere along it's length costs 1.60 ringit, about 25p. It's great value and affords a splendid view of the city and the gridlocked streets.
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Today Trish and I eschewed the comfort of the monorail and decided to walk into the city. We wanted to get to the marvellous 'Twin Towers' which dominate the skyline. We followed the road, past various watch sellers who all, to a man, leapt out on us saying 'you want watch sir, I have lovely watch, and you lady' pointing to a bedazzling array of timepieces laid out on their stalls. All guaranteed to last less hours than on their designer dials. We finally made it and was disappointed to find the viewing facility closed on Mondays. Underneath the towers was a sickeningly up market designer shopping mall with western prices. Marvellous air conditioning though!
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So here we sit, waiting for the opportunity to clear off home, wondering why, in this pre election month, Gordon Brown does not organise a vote-winning Dunkirk-like evacuation of the 150,000 or so souls stranded, like the B.E.F. on foreign soil, trying to survive extended and unexpected exposure to a culture that they only wanted to holiday in, not become part of.
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We are fine really. We have a comfy hotel, cheap, free wifi, air con in the room and an excellent buffet breakfast. The news regularly shows less fortunate travellers lying on airport floors, or suffering house arrest because they do not have a visa to visit some under - developed hell hole that they have suddenly been deposited into, a place they would never in their wildest dreams have visited. We are not on holiday anymore, that's for sure. We exist in a kind of limbo. It's life Jim, but not as we know it.