DAYS 30-31.....The Return Of Lock Yourself Out

At last, Antigua. We were up hideously early this very morning to begin the journey home. This involved the descent as previously detailed down to Kingstown and St.Vincent airport, Tropical Storm Erika was still in the area yesterday, giving Dominica a fearful pounding. Such a shame for that is a beautiful island with equally nice people. At about midday yesterday we were told that today's flight to Antigua was cancelled. Never has the Bush Telegraph been so wrong. Luckily Fred's Internet Cafe, two dwellings up in Rosehall had provided us, whilst sheltering in his porch, with the information that Friday's flight was NOT cancelled, although all flights North of ANTIGUA and in and out of Dominica were.

And so we were soon winging our way to Antigua via St. Lucia which looked really splendid as we landed there to take on passengers. We arrived at the spanking new Antigua terminal, opened two days ago, air conditioned and spacious. We were soon at our hotel, minutes from the airport with an excellent view of the end of the runway that any plane spotter would be in awe of. Little did we know that later on that evening we would have an extended opportunity to view to comings and goings at Antigua airport from the comfort of our balcony.

Wind Chimes Inn has runway facing rooms. And very comfortable they are too. All rooms have a balcony and no better fun can be had late at night after a few drinks, than sitting on the balcony watching the planes. Brilliant! And so we decided to do this very night except.........Trish, my wife who, if you remember, gave me 'the look' when I locked us out of our room on Bequia, locked all four of us out on the balcony. To this day, the day after, we can't figure out how it happened, but happen it did. Cue much deliberation. Merlin was sure that a descent via the structure of the first and second floor balconies could be achieved......if we were in our twenties. Thanks for that. I was in favour of waiting for the neighbours to come home and let us in, for our room door was open. A good idea, except that they eventually came home at 4 a.m.

Nothing else for it but to shout for help, which eventually worked. Like castaways on a remote atoll, we decided that anyone who came within earshot would be hailed and it eventually worked, a kind lady from the house behind the hotel came to our aid and called the night porter, who let us back in. I couldn't help thinking that the policy of hailing a passer by was full of danger. A passing Biily Burglar for example, enjoying a spot of r and r on his walk home would have been presented with quite an opportunity as we were the only items out on the balcony, no phones did we have, no laptops, no IPads, no wallets or credit cards. You get the idea. They were in the room. Still, we were back in, and to my credit, not once did I give my wife 'the look'.

Next stop was, at last Antigua airport, our flight home. We got here in plenty of time, the air conditioning in the new terminal almost too good. However if we thought as we sat in departures supping a few beers, that from now on the journey would be incident free, we were wrong although compared to the incidents of the last week, the latest and last was a breeze.......for one of us.

Now for those of you who are frequent fliers, especially on long haul or transatlantic flights, you will know that when you enter the aircraft you are always directed to the right. This means you have Economy seats or Fourth Class. For this flight we had been given an upgrade. To World Traveller Class, which is third class really. As we found out, you still turn right as you enter the plane but are given better seats and grub.

Imagine our surprise when only three of us were directed rightward with the rest of the scum and semi scum. The fourth, Merlin, was directed to the left. He had mysteriously been upgraded at the gate where I saw them rip up his boarding  card. For one minute I thought he was getting his wish to stay in The Windies and spend the rest of his days liming. But no. He turned left.....and kept walking to the front of the aircraft where he was greeted by The Captain himself. Merlin was in row zero. First Class. Champagne, flat bed, menu, free booze, thick blanket and waited on hand and foot class. He even came back to us in measly third class waving his menu around proclaiming his beloved cheesecake to be a dessert choice. His free booze, no damn good to him, even included Jim's beloved Bailey's, not available in Premium Economy. Surely he would bring some back for Jim. Not a bit of it. That was the last we saw of the git until Gatwick. When I tried to go up to see him, I was refused entry. "You are not allowed in there sir" the stewardess informed me. Meanwhile Merlin, doing his impersonation of Emperor Nero reclined on his seat while they tipped fruit punch down his gullet. Punch? Good idea. But at least we were all on our way home, apart from Jim, who had another day of travelling ahead of him to get back to OZ. But on our way home we all were, a week late, a week poorer but with memories that will be with us for a long time to come,

I hope you enjoyed the blog readers, especially those who stuck with it all the way through and didn't just read the Hotel Bastardos entry. That was the most read of them all. I also hope that you have been able to feel a little bit of the atmosphere of the truly weird and wonderful islands that make up The Windies. If you have, then the blog has done its job. Thanks for reading.