HOGMONAY

The Dornoch Castle Hotel In Dornoch

We have been looking forward to this trip for a long time. When we were here last February, shortly after Trish's ski accident, we resolved to return within the year and thought to come back and what better time of year to come than during the world famous hogmonay celebrations to welcome in the New Year.

So on Tuesday we caught an Easy Jet flight to Inverness and was met by my very good friend Rob Jones, who transported us to his Lochside residence in the small village of Bonar Bridge. We were welcomed by his wife Cara and their three children who were all still enjoying the Christmas family holiday. Of course, Rob and I are big cricket fans and the first night was spent watching the England cricket team retain The Ashes against Australia in Melbourne. Naturally we had to celebrate with a 'wee dram'. Rob needs no excuse for a 'wee dram' . In fact, there was a block of ice in the loch we can see from our bedroom window which melted before the other blocks and I was afraid a 'wee dram' may be required to celebrate that too!

Ashes retained!

The next day dawned clear accross the the loch, and reasonably bright. As always, Rob is at his best when touring his local area, pointing out places of interest and then imparting his considerable historical knowledge. He had a big shopping list to resolve so he dropped us off in Dornoch. This small town is on Dornoch Firth, the only estuary in western Europe not be industrialised. (more Jonesfacts) and boasts, one of the ten top golf courses in the world.(Jonesfacts) On previous visits, we had looked at the course and on one occasion given the impression we were going to actually play it. Of course one would need to pay a considerable green fee to do that! This time the course was under a blanket of snow. So Trish and I walked the beach which ajoins the course for an hour and a half. How strange it was to see snow lying on the sand.

Snow on the beach at Dornoch

After a couple of beers at The Dornoch Castle Hotel, where after his arduous shopping expedition the Jones collected us, we returned to Bonar Bridge to prepair for the evening's entertainment which was a fancy dress birthday party for one of Cara and Rob's friends. About twenty guests in all turned up for the festivities and the evening culminated in an Abba singalong for all of those that were not watching Match Of The Day in Rob's study. I am happy to say Trish joined in with this and when I looked at the scoreboard, she and her partner were well in the lead!

SAD TIMES

A double whammy last Saturday, when news came through of two deaths, on the same day, of two of my heroes, The Captain and Ralphy Coates. How funny it is to put the two of them into the same sentence. Had they not sadly passed at the same time it might never have happened, and why should it? They were at two opposing ends of the entertainment spectrum, indeed Ralph, who played for Spurs in the seventies, scoring the winning goal in The League Cup Final at Wembley and at the same time confusing my very good friend Nick Iddon with his shiny shorts, ,probably never considered himself as part of the entertainment industry. He was a great little player. I remember him for having an even greater 'comb over' than Bobby Charlton. Many's the time I witnessed him flying up the wing with it streaming behind him, like a jet vapour trail. He was only recently interviewed on the pitch at half time and now.....he's gone.

And then there was The Captain. Childhood friend of my hero Frank Zappa and a little bit weird to say the least but as usual with artists such as his eccentric self, a genius, capable of mind-bending harp playing such as I first experienced as a callow, youthful hairy muso, when I bought the sampler entitled 'Gutbucket' As well as The Groundhog's 'Still A Fool', TonyMcPhee's 'No More Doggin' and The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band's 'Can White Men Sing The Blues?' , there was also the classic Beefeheart track 'Gimmie That Harp Boy' and I can honestly say that as a 15 year old I had NEVER heard harmonica playing like that. And then there was his vocals. I was converted. His classics 'Safe As Milk' and 'Trout Mask Replica' were soon added to the collection and the highlight for me arrived later in his contribution to Zappa's album 'Bongo Fury' to be followed a few years later by the magnificent 'Observatory Crest'. click here to view and listen to the track http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2yWkgs_Nk

I suppose there will be more to add to this list next year and soon our own contemporaries will start to fade away and then.......

Anyway.......Happy Christmas!

CHAOS

It was a great idea last summer!

It was coming, and we all knew it. The country was braced for it the weather reports warned us, you could see it coming...........but as usual the few centimetres of snow that have fallen have brought the country to another pathetic standstill.

Winner of the 'most clothes on' competition!

Yesterday, when the 'storm' had passed, Trish and I went for a walk around the village. For those of you that don't know this village, there is a small hill that runs past the pub and up to the crossroads. We walked that way yesterday, for a reason, to participate in one of my favourite spectator sports, watching stupid English people try to drive in the snowy conditions.

Our road last night

Roads round here remain untreated and really, anyone with half a brain would stay at home until the worst of the conditions passed, but Oh no, with the spirit of Cook, Hilary and Fines coursing through their veins, the English can be seen climbing into their cars to tackle the snow covered roads with less skill at their disposal than the sum total of the England football team. How they slithered yesterday. One after another they wheel spun up the insignificant gradient, that seems to be the plan for most of them, rotate the wheels as fast as you can so as to provide the optimum purchase.

The top of wheelspin hill

Those friends who live in Sweden are often asking me why we don't have laws forcing people to change to winter tyres at the beginning of the 'season to be merry'. It's always been a good question, and now I know the answer. According to BBC news last week, insurance companies, instead of being happy that people swap to safer tyres actually charger higher premiums for those that do. Unbelievable? Click here for confirmation:http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11969958 What a pathetic country we live in.

Anyway, for those of you who are regular readers, you will no doubt remember my promise last spring, whilst marooned in Kuala Lumpur, never to moan about our climate again, I must point out that I'm not moaning about the weather, I'm moaning about the English attitude towards it and their way of dealing with it. Round here it's turned from beautiful to extremely beautiful and while I was on my way to the paper shop I thought I would take some photos. And here they are. Now I know people like Ally and Jim don't like this kind of weather but I think you will agree, that if you are in anyway interested in photography, you will go a long way to beat the sheer scope and variation of the photo opportunities afforded to residents in this land throughout the year, if only they could drive!

THE TEAM GET NOWT' BUT PISSED

It was with some trepidation that I agreed a few weeks ago to give up a precious Sunday and go to the Teaching Awards with friends and colleagues from my school. The Hillborough 'Team" which I used to be part of, had won the East Of England section of said awards and were duly invited to go for the National Award. This involved a weekend away at the Park Plaza Hotel which lies at the south end of Westminster Bridge in London. One click on the logo above will transport you to the luxurious yet tacky carbuncle which charges over £1,000 a night for a penthouse suite! More on this later.

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Has this improved the London skyline? ...NO!

Trish and I decided that it might be fun to have at least the Sunday away at the awards which were to be filmed for broadcast on BBC2 that very day. Of course we had to dress for the occasion, which meant that Trish had to spend at least two to three weeks prior to the event in her favourite charity shops searching for outfits.

Eventually we pitched up at the above glass and concrete monster. We made our way via a glass paneled elevator, silent as a whisper in the dark, to our room. We were supposed to have an 'iconic' room according to John the boss, but we ended up with a room with no view but two televisions and a lounge, together with a lovely white sofa to spill red wine on. Luckily, there was footy on TV so Trish and I polished off a few V and T's and before you knew it, it was time to congregate in the lobby for the coach ride to The Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, where the event was to be filmed.

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That gown is still in the room.....honest!

The 'iconic' and expensive view.

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It wasn't long before we arrived at the theatre, where the 'Team' were told by their leader that 'when,' not 'if', we were invited up onto the stage to receive the gong, they would each have to give a short but witty speech. As you can see from the above photo, O'Donnell was less than amused by the sudden prospect. Williams wouldn't let me go in his place as not only did I threaten to tell a mystery anecdote, but I also 'smelled of alcohol'. So my bid for greatness was thwarted and my 'Warhol' moment' would have to wait. We were then urshered into the grand interior by waistcoated flunkies. It wasn't long before Trish, black and also wearing a (different coloured) waistcoat, was asked for directions to the toilet! We took our places and Lenny Henry, our host, got the mini Oscar cermony underway.

And the winner is............not us!

As the cermony meandered on, with the great and the good receving their awards, we were soon realising that without our school ...we left with being in Ireland, Wales or broke, we were not going to win anything. If only we had stuck O'Donnell into a wheelchair. He was already unable to speak! we would have cleaned up. As it was nothing. The walk of shame soon arrived. I was looking forward to the evening entertainment.......free grub and booze!

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Dave and Suzie and the wine bucket

The tables at the expensive but frugal dinner were well stocked. Glasses were replenished with reliable regularity. Ice buckets of crispy white wine sat tantilisingly in the middle. I noticed, as the night wore on, that early to bedders were leaving their wine untouched. I was worried about what would happen to it if it were not drunk. I can attest to the drinkability of it, indeed I am supping some as I write. The night went past in a blur and it wasn't long before we were invited up to view O'Donnell's iconic penthouse suite. He procured this room by dint of his original room not being fit or some other thing, but here we were with a splendid view across Westminster Bridge, the clockface of Big Ben shining in the near distance. O'Donnell was in his element. I couldn't help wonder if this view and accompanying room was worth it's price tag of over £1,000 a night.

Room with a view

View? I prefer the foreground!

THE WEEK AND BEYOND

7:an Goteborg

The last week has been pretty interesting to say the least. It started with another trip to Sweden for the weekend, this time in the company of my very good friend Andy. He had been unable to make the previous trip in August so we decided to go at this time. It turned out to be a very enjoyable experience. Our first full day in town was spent drinking and chewing the fat in a couple of bars. I took Andy to the oldest beer hall in Sweden, Number 7 which is located in the middle of the city. I used to frequent the place when I lived in Sweden but I haven’t been back in years. Thankfully, it has changed little. True, the bar has had a revamp, in fact there is actually a bar now, and the toilets were really primitive and they too have been improved. But the overall character remains and they serve real beer now too!

Joe Bonamassa

Friday night was one I had been looking forward to for a few weeks. Rustan had got us tickets to see Joe ‘I look like Bill Gates’ Bonamassa. Andy had seen him the previous night in Leicester and so took his life in his hands and went for dinner with Alan Newton. I was secretly hoping he had remembered to take out travel insurance. The concert was great and footage can be seen superbly filmed by Rustan on www.afreemanintown.blogspot.com and it’s well worth a look.

Liseberg's Hallen

Me and Mr. Impatient

On Saturday we went to watch Spurs v Everton at the Plain Kitchen our usual venue for such games. It was a disappointing game that finished 1-1. it was an early kick off and we watched the following games. Our very good friend Goran Melin arrived and it was great to meet his three lovely kids again despite the fact that they are all Gooners! A new all time Plain Kitchen was set as we emerged some seven hours later into the night and moved to another familiar bar Karlsons Garage.

Andy and Alan, affter the dinner

The effects of the dinner at Al's start to be noticeable

Guess who won the tips contest?

I think I have been there.

It was a great trip. Andy and I had some time together which we have not had for some years and we arrived back in England suitably refreshed.

Half term meant it was great to have a lie in on Monday morning. Of course, highlight of the week was fast approaching, and it did with a bang on Wednesday night as the lights went up at the Lyric Theatre on Shaftsbury Avenue. We were there to see the musical ‘Thriller Live’. Normally, I would not have been within a thousand metres of the place. But this was Trish’s night out. She had been to enough gigs with me, now it was her turn.

Thriller

Killer

At first we had seats which were both uncomfortable and among a group of people who seemed to want to do nothing more than talk throughout the performance. I was reminded of the time I went to see the great Jimmy Smith at The Jazz Café, when his pre-gig instructions. ‘If you want to talk during the performance then go talk outside’ had instructed the gathered fans. How I wish he had been there on Wednesday. Luckily, during the interval we were able to swap seats for ones on their own and nearer the end of the show we were able to get really close to proceedings. Trish loved it. I enjoyed the singing of one of the leads and the band, secreted claustrophobically behind a screen at the back of the stage, played really well, never missing a cue as they played blind. I didn’t realise that Jackson had brought the ‘crutch grope’ into modern dance, I do now. Musicals, I can live without them, but I don’t think this will be the last one.

On Friday night The Cheats were on the road again, this time a gig at ‘The Chequers at Houghton Regis. There were many times during the night when The Lyric Theatre seemd warm and inviting.

Joe Bonamassa Photos by Rustan Lefin

GOTEBORG

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Touched down in Goteborg on Wednesday night in the company of my very good friend Andy Richardson who missed the summer trip and didn't want to miss out on it this year. We flew out while super Spurs were up against Inter Milan in Italy. When we touched down, the first text on my phoe was Trish with the bad news of a 3-0 scoreline to the Italians after just half an hour with Gomez red carded. Merlin collected us as he always can be relied upon to do. We were soon at Karlsons Garage having a couple of pints. No one wanted to come out to play however and we drank alone.

The next day dawned, cold, bright and clear skied. We spent the early part of it wondering about how Gareth Bale's late but significant at the San Siro that nearly saved the match, looked. We later saw it on You Tube after we spent a really pleasant day touring the city and having a couple of beers in Sweden's oldest beer hall 7:an in the middle of Goteborg.

We went out to Andy's favourite resteraunt Gyllna Prague in the evening to consume yet another plate of panerad ost. Bloody expensive but bloody nice. We were joined there by Anna, Annika Rustan and Alan. A good night was had by all.

WHAT A WEEKEND !

I want to start this week's blog by saying a very big thanks to my very good friend mr Rustan Lefin. Although he gave me the real bad news this week that he would not be coming skiing next winter, he did, some time ago invite me to become a member of the SPOTIFY community. Of course, being me, I never got round to it and he had to send me a second invite. And of course I didn't get round to that either. So on Thursday I was doing a bit of de cluttering in my email box and I found that old invitation. So I downloaded SPOTIFY. very soon I was shelling out the £9.99 monthly membership fee to access the 320kbs downloads to improve the already good sound quality.

The trouble is with modern life that there seems to be so little time to access and so discover new music. A thirst I have always had as I soon become bored with most stuff I get into unless it really is of great, enduring quality. So SPOTIFY seves up a constant supply of new music tailored to your taste. For example, I wanted to see how much BRAND X stuff they had. Quite a lot as it happened but nothing I had not heard. So I clicked on the 'related artists' tab. WOW. Lots of bands playing BRAND X type music. Rather than labour through all the new stuff I have been listening to,(if you are interested that is) have a look at the list on the right of the blog for the artists spilling forth and give them a listen.

So, a good piece of work on Thursday was followed on Friday by an invitation to The O'Donnell House for dinner. Of course John 'I'll go anywhere for a free dinner' Darley was invited and of course forgot the afters he promised to bring last time. I brought the starters. Liam didn't appreciate our tin of John West smoked muscles. Trish and I did. Well, if you wait for O'Donnell to serve up the pre-main course snacket, you are likely to have a spider spin a web between your head and the wall!

O'Donnell served up an excellent feast of smoked haddock, veg and .......wait for it.........you guessed it Dofenoir spuds (again)

www.virtualfestivals.com/myfests/index.php?/...potatoes.

All the time of course he was lavishing us with gallons of assorted alcoholic beverages. Needless to say the guests did not make it out and were forced to stay overnight at O'Donnell's Bar and Grill. Trish and I were sensible and hit the hay at 2am. Darley was less so, 6am, reportedly and did not rise until 12 midday.

By that time we had been to Luton, I to buy an amp for the afternoon's gig and Trish to go and gawp at some famous soap star from Emmerdale (wife of Darley, Viv Hope) who was risking life and limb in the local shopping mall, opening a pound shop. I expect as soon as she cut the ribbon she was immediately trampled underfoot by the hordes of chavs Trish reported from her vantage point.

Following the early evening's acoustic gig, The Cheats hot footed it up to our local for the electric sets. This meant we started playing at 5.30 and finished at midnight and an explanation for the bedraggled look in the photo below, taken at the gig and featuring myself and one of Rustan's English mates I met in Goteborg a couple of years ago, now living in the next village. When I asked why the hell he moved back here from Sweden, he had no comment to make except for 'better beer'. Silly sod.

Anyway the weekend finished up with a bit of tree surgery on Sunday. Both the cherry blossoms in the front garden have been given a lobotomy in an attempt to stop their rapid yearly growth. It won't work. Tried it last year, they just laughed at my feeble attempts!

GOOD OLD JOHN WEST

This is really for Rustan who will be interested in the picture above. One new delicacy we had with our Swedish breakfast a coupe of weeks ago at Rustan's place was, to the disgust of JD, smoked mussels. Rustan recommends them with a tot of whisky on the high seas whilst out sailing. We had to make do with them at the table but they were none the less delicious. So when I was out shopping on Thursday I was wondering if Tesco's stocked them They did and I bought them. However, will they be as tasty as their Swedish counterpart? I can remember the saga of the anchovies. I'll let you know. We are off to dinner at Liam's tonight. 'I'll go anywhere for a free meal' JD is invited. I think I'll take them along

THE NEW POND

One of the major jobs we vowed to do over the summer holidays was to put in a new pond. The old one had sprung a leak and often overflowed during heavy rain and it was so big, the water had nowhere to go and flooded the garden. On many a stormy day had we been out there pumping water from the pond. It was time for a change.

The last time I attempted this job was with my very good friend Goran. When he visited last (see below) he observed the old pond was on it's last legs and I could smell the fear as he thought that once again he was going to get roped in to help. (or was the smell of fear actually the stinky pond itself?) Anyway we resolved to replace the not so indestructable liner with a moulded plastic one, much smaller allowing Trish to get stuck into a bit of landscaping. This would mean the VERY large hole where the old pond lay would have to be filled in around the new one. To achieve this fill we broke up hardcore and then filled the surrounding area with sand. (38 bags) and gravel (8 bags). This after removing the old liner with it's smelly, stagnant water.

Needless to say Trish got really stuck into the job while I served as her assistant. I got to do the breaking, cutting, chopping and the lifting. She got to do a bit of that as well and all the bits which I could never have done, the landscaping. We sawed down an invasive tree and removed a very stubborn stump. It took best part of three days. That TV programme Ground Force, where they transform a whole garden in the same amount of time just HAS to be bullshit. Anyway the finished result is really pucker. The fish and frogs who were disturbed like their new environment and our neighbours can once again be lulled to sleep with the sound of the water fountain gently trickling.

SWENGLAND LAND

A typical sight on the Goteborg archipelago

WHAT A GREAT WEEKEND! JD and I left for Goteborg last Wednesday evening, a rather smaller number of us that usual, due to work and Test Match commitments for Andy and Carl who will be coming out with me next October. As usual, the object of the trip is to meet our Swedish manager friends who take part in The Swengland League, a fantasy football competition which is in it's 15th year. We also present any awards won by Swedish managers during the previous season. Rustan is the Swedish Chairman and it is he who organises things.

Presentations usually take place on Saturday afternoon at a bar venue where live Premiership matches are being shown on TV.

Rustan tries Berra's Man U. Quiz.

Of course, the trip has plenty of time available to pursue other interests such as sight seeing and music.For those readers who have never been to Goteborg, it is a port on the west coast of Sweden. I lived there for three years and for the life of me I can't tell you why I ever returned for it is a place of calm and culture.

This time, JD and I visited the island of Branno in the Goteborg archipelago which featured recently in the Observer travel section as a great place to visit for the price of a bus ticket. This is true. For £2.45 you can take a tram to the coast and then catch a ferry out to any of the islands served. Some islands are bigger than others, all steeped in history and more importantly devoid of traffic bar mopeds and bicycles.

The two stooges on Branno

This followed a trip to the 'other side' of the Goteborg harbour, which is undergoing a serious regeneration, project reaching fruition in 2020. Again, unlike this god forsaken land, Sweden has a vision of the future which is designed to benefit the citizens and improve their quality of life.

Live music at Galliano

Much good food was eaten and much good drinks were drunk. As usual thanks to Rustan, Anders and Anna who fed us and entertained us. JD was even treated to a round of golf at the prestigious Hills golf course which he thoroughly enjoyed.

Anders gets a surprise award

Yet again Rustan wins the trophy and 100SKR for

the Chairman's Challenge